I have a 2 year old who acts like a regular 2 year old-----saying "no" to everything-----wanting to do things her way, running away when I want her close, throwing food on the floor, etc. Do I just let her grow out of the "terrible 2's", or do I attempt to change that behavior?

W's Reply
We have a saying for this: “Pay me now, or pay me later, with interest” You definitely must address the behavior before it gets any more out of hand. You could try redirection, timeout, or brief explanations which are age appropriate.


Here are some examples:

Saying No: Don’t ask a question if you need a “yes” answer or if you are not willing to accept a “no” answer. Simply give a directive and let them know disobedience will result in time out or other discipline.

Wanting to do things her own way: Learn the art of giving options. She is too young to realize your options are a win/win for you. She just feels she has some power. Say to her, “You can either wear your red dress or the purple outfit. Which one do you want?” If she argues, stop her, and say “One or the other or mama will choose.”

Running away: This could potentially cause her great harm. I spanked my children because I felt it could possibly be a life or death situation. (Example, running into the parking lot) Maybe you are in a store and they will not stay with you.. Let them know there will not be an ice cream treat if they leave your side and next time they do not get to go. (Assuming you have someone to keep them)

Throwing food on floor: The next time you throw food on the floor, you will have to leave the table and will not be allowed to eat anything, except drink juice, until our next mealtime. Do not make this statement if you are not willing to follow-through and listen to the crying.

N's Reply
Terrible 2's if not dealt with grow into terrible 3's, terrible 4's etc.... I realized with my 2nd child at age 4 she acted like a 2 year old. Not good stuff! Gets more and more embarrassing. Change the behavior NOW!
 
L's Reply
This is developmentally normal behavior, but establishing your authority is important as well. I would put boundaries in place around the behaviors that you want to change. I would try a disciplinary approach consistently by telling her sternly but gently "we don't throw food on the floor", one more time and you go to your crib (or play pen)" - like a time out. Leave her there briefly (2 minutes - a minute for every year) and then put her back in her chair. If she continues to act out in the behavior, you continue to consistently repeat the above.